More stale goldfish, please!

These little fish will have a tough time swimming upstream with soggy tails.

Money laundering

Maybe with a crumpled $5 bill you can buy a crumpled bag of snacks.

Giving thanks, again and again

How much gravy do you have on your face that your napkin has to look like this?

Baby's first stale snack

Crumpled bags aren't just for adult snacks. Kids can get in on the action, too, when mom is in charge of the Cheerios. It won't take the milk long to make these soggy.

You like nice, and wrinkled

Why just crumple a bag of chips when you can transfer that skill to the day's laundry? Here's a clean shirt, left to hang by a wife with the collar up and wrinkles sure to follow.

Viva la staleness!

Think you'd want to dip your stale chip into a mound of guacamole? Wives like to tear bags as hard as they can, often creating a rip down the side that is impossible to seal with a chip clip.

Before and after

Think these potato snacks would be any good if left in this crumpled state? They barely taste fresh as it is.

Folded like a pretzel

What's worse than a stale pretzel? A recurring theme here will be bags that are crumpled closed, rather than neatly folded. Wives are always in a hurry, munching and crumpling with little regard for freshness.

Wipe your face

Wives crumple napkins into balls of greasiness. Would you want to pick this up if you were waiting on this table? Husbands can clean their mouths and hands without turning a napkin into a turd origami.